Frightened Seoul

Toward the end of our time in Taiwan we went on a long weekend to Seoul and in the days leading up to our departure we were inundated with caution from concerned family members. Fair play. If I knew someone headed toward the border of the power-crazed Kim Jong Un, I would probably be a bit worried for them too. After all, any time we tuned in to international news coverage, it was all doom and gloom from North Korea, with repeat CNN updates of the "imminent attacks" that "may" occur...at any moment...did I mention they were imminent?
Dun dun duuuuuuh
Truth is, we were both a little worried, and as we sought out information on the real deal in Korea, our personalities came shining through. Aran wanted to check all sources, watch the news and talk about the situation constantly. Me? I checked the Canadian Government travel advisory website and when they gave the all clear I was satisfied. That and, well, we had already paid for our tickets, which for me pretty much means we're going. That's the logic of my financially oriented brain. I will not be losing money because of fear mongering, end of.
So while Aran was watching TV, I stuck my fingers in my ears and "la-la-la'd". And when he left news articles open on the computer, I closed them, wanting to remain blissfully ignorant of any updates, but secretly wondering to myself, what if?
The morning of our flight, it suddenly dawned on me how my fear tolerance has been slowly dwindling throughout our trip. Funny, considering we started in Africa and slowly worked our way toward the so-called "easier"

countries. Every flight is scarier. I find myself gripping the armrest like my life depends on it during any kind of turbulence, and wondering if this will be the flight where our luck changes.
Didn't I overcome enough fears before we left?
I went reeling back to the dread that sometimes consumed me as we planned our journey. While the prospect of taking a year to travel is exciting, sitting down to actually make it happen is quite another thing. My stomach did a few flips as I listened to the nurse at the travel clinic rhyme off all the vaccinations we would need, and their potential risks...my jaw hit the floor when she told me the cost! I knew once we paid for that we were going. Financial commitment? Check.
Oh, and then there was work. Quitting your job to take off on a world adventure might seem glamorous to some, but it is downright terrifying! How will my boss react? And what will other employers think when they see a year long gap on my resume? Will anyone hire me when I get back? Will there be jobs? How will we pay for the trip? Our house?
And what will my family and friends think? We would miss the wedding of two very special people. And three incredible women in my life would be having babies! Not to mention the annual birthdays and Christmas festivities.
I'm usually fairly risk-averse so this wasn't just a leap of faith. This was a full blown, bungee jump with silly putty around my ankles.
And when we started to share our travel plans, there were plenty of high-fives and congrats, but there were also some bulging eyes and worries. Nonetheless, we were determined not to make decisions about our lives based on fear. Choosing not to go because we were scared of what might or might not happen was not an option. Plus we were so far in that I knew it wasn't possible to turn back. Without question, I would regret not going. It was fear whispering in my ear, causing me to worry that I might regret going, maybe we were just running away.

So, we talked about that and we both agreed that we weren't running away from anything either. In fact, we loved our lives. We loved living in Guelph, being close to family and friends. We loved our house and our weirdo cat. We loved being part of the Guelph Triathlon Club and we had great jobs to support our life. Sometimes that made it even harder to think about leaving.
I mean really, a whole year, just me and Aran? Would we last? Would I kill him? (I'm happy to report so far so good)
The worries I was wrought with as we scratched things off the elaborate to do list slowly disappeared. They were gone completely as we boarded the plane for big bad Africa. Once you're there these places aren't as scary as you might think.
Just like the days leading up to a big race, once you hit the water the nerves fade away and adrenaline takes over.
Seoul was no different.
A small shudder escaped me after reading an exhibit in the National War Museum that explained, quite objectively, how quickly and effectively we would all be vaporized if a nuke were dropped on Seoul. Awesome!
But, moments later I forgot all about those details when a South Korean war veteran approached me to say thank you for visiting the museum.

And yes on the metro ride to Jamsil Stadium, I wondered how long the gas masks had been set up in the stations...weeks, months, years? These thoughts passed quickly, as I got lost in the energy of the singing,

cheering, roaring crowd, who were clearly immune to the impending threat from the North. Turns out my only fear during the inter-city baseball battle of the Dusan Bears vs. the LG Twins was the possibility that my feet my fall off from the cold!
And if the game wasn’t enough to relax me, banging back shots of Sujo, while munching on fried chicken with my old friend, Alberto, sure did the trick!

So by the time we got to the spa, the not-so-frightened Seoul had reminded me of what I'd be missing if I let fear take the reins. I soaked in the hot pools after a delicious dinner of kimchi and fell asleep without a care in the world.